Onesided Convenience
by jessara40k
Summary: Late in Brangwen's pregnancy Elena finally asks her what she gets out of her marriage to Cloud, as she doesn't love him and it puts her under a lot of limitations. Cetra Restoration AU


"Ahhh. That's good Elena." Brangwen stretched and rolled over onto her back, smiling as she rested one hand on her rounded belly. "I think she just kicked. Do you want to feel?"

"Please." She pressed her hand against Brangwen's skin, but she couldn't feel anything, no matter how hard she pressed, or how Brangwen moved her hand. "I can't feel anything, either she's gone back to sleep, or I'm just not sensitive enough to feel her." She couldn't help feeling disappointed by that, and Brangwen smiled at her reassuringly as she pulled back her hand.

"Maybe you can feel her move later then, in a month or so."

"Yeah, maybe." Elena sat up, wiping her oily hands on the towels beneath them, and reached to stroke Brangwen's cheek. "Will you still be doing so much training then?"

"So much?" Brangwen sounded disbelieving, almost shocked. "Aeris has already restricted me to only forty minutes doing solo forms, and she's been making noises about reducing that even more in a couple of weeks."

"Yeah, but you spend what, three hours or more doing other types of exercise every day."

"Point." Brangwen laughed as she conceded. "And I know this child is precious, so it makes sense for Aeris to restrict me, it's just...I know Morvoren was still allowed to spar until _she_ felt it could be dangerous for the child, and warrior caste have been having kids without all these restrictions for generations."

"I know." But when Elena had asked why Aeris was so controlling about Brangwen's pregnancy Sephiroth had explained that warrior caste tended to have fewer children than healer caste, and their pregnancies were more likely to have problems because of the lifestyle warrior caste tended to prefer. Apparently Morvoren had been lucky and her pregnancy was going well, but Brangwen was treating her pregnancy as an imprisonment by her own body, keeping her from training as she'd like. "Brangwen, can I ask you a pretty personal question?"

"What? Of course you can. Could you massage my calves while you ask though?"

"Sure." Elena picked up the flask of oil and moved to kneel by Brangwen's feet. "I don't understand why you agreed to become Cloud's spouse, I know it's just a marriage of convenience; all the household knows that, even if you've succeeded in passing it off as a love match to outsiders. Only, I can see what Cloud gets out of it; a spouse who can give him heirs, reduce his political entanglements, and won't abuse Sephiroth. But...what do you get out of it?"

"I get you."

"No, seriously Brangwen, what do you get out of being Cloud's spouse? You Cetra don't have nobility by marriage the way we humans used to. Being Cloud's spouse puts all these restrictions on you that you hate, and obliges you to carry his children - putting even more restrictions on you. And from what I've seen sex with Cloud ranges from lousy at best, to outright painful, at least with you." Elena shifted uncomfortably as she spoke that last sentence, guiltily aware that the entire reason Rowan had given her to Cloud was to make sure he learned how to make sex feel good for a woman, and she hadn't done that; she'd been content to enjoy Brangwen's attentions, and Tseng's consideration rather than risk angering Cloud by presuming to approach him.

"I was being serious." Brangwen pulled her feet back and pushed up to sit facing Elena, reaching out to cradle her face. "I've wanted you from the moment I first saw you dance, I knew I could love you from when we first danced the mariatha together, and I knew you completed my soul from the moment you told me you'd responded to our dance as I had." At that Elena couldn't resist the urge to lean forward and kiss Brangwen, pulling back slowly, reluctantly. "I wanted you, but when I first saw you I _knew_ you were beyond my reach, and would be for years to come. Then, when Cloud asked Coran and I to consider becoming his spouse I agreed _because_ he said his spouse would have access to you."

"Oh, I'm flattered." And she found it hard to believe that _she_ was enough compensation for all the difficulties Brangwen suffered because she'd married Cloud. "I didn't even dare to think about love at first, not until you were talking about looking for a new concubine and I realised I loved you by how much the idea hurt."

"And that's what told me that I really did love you, that it wasn't just potential anymore; that even the thought of trying to replace you hurt so much." Brangwen shook her head with a smile, slowly lying back down and letting Elena work on her calves again. "Was that enough answer for you?"

"I guess." It was rather overwhelming, the idea that getting to have her had been enough reason for Brangwen to agree to tie herself to Cloud. "I just hadn't realised you were that much of a romantic. I...think I was expecting some more practical reasons I hadn't seen."

"There are some practical benefits for me. I've used this espousal to give my clan a chance to better their situation, and it means they won't be expecting me to have children to send back to them to raise. But the most important reasons for me were emotional, my friendship with Sephiroth, the fact that there wasn't anyone else I really cared for that way, and the chance to be with you."


End file.
